Too many things happened all at once. Looks like i gotta have a change of lifestyle..how bout tai tai style high tea for a change?? hahass.everything in moderation, thats the rule of thumb, anything more and things will get out of control.
I really dunno why my mind is in such a mess. or why my mood is so on the edge. i used to be damn tolerant of late comers. i mean, im alr used to it. but i guess my patience finally ran out. i mean, if i can set alarm, why cant you. im talking about perpetual late comers. and its the very absurd timings. like when u reach a certain place and u call to check their location, it turns out to be their morning wake up call. its extremely pissifying..
life is really short. its too much of a waste to spend it crying over spilt milk, waiting for latecomers, or worrying about what might or might not happen. i have better things to do. we all have better things to do. we should spend it doing things we like or enjoy, or showing love, care and concern fo people around us whom we hold dear. If you haven't read yesterday (saturday)'s new paper, please go get it and flip to edwin yeo's column. then you will realise what im talking about. i mean, all of us have heard of these stories, so much that its getting cliched. but when it happens to you, its a totally different feeling.
life is too short for you to be bothered about work, about things. work is stressful. i have been very disappointed with my own performances at work as well. there are so many things which i could have done better. but what is over is over. do better the next time round. easier said than done. i know. im talking incoherently, but thats just me. what better way to drown all your sorrows and bounce away in a club, away from all the stress? life is short, but that does not mean you have to look for all ways and means to shorten it even more. i know im guilty of it as well, but hey its all a phase we pass through. we all have to go through painful experiences to learn. thats how it is.
right, its probably some time before i start clubbing again. drinking im not sure. maybe at home. i need booze to sleep. i sleep, and i dream about work all the time. and its never pleasant. its always about all the bad things which may happen, the what ifs. and fucking hell what if i go for sleep apnea treatment also. somebody will die cock stand, pardon my lack of ability in expressing myself properly. but somehow some people do not think of that. im ready to take on the job. i know nobody is going to appreciate my work. in fact, im most probably going to get hated by everybody, but somebody has to do the dirty work. so what if everybody loves you but nothing is done and the whole office is in shambles.
the difference between the popular and right decision.
a certain teacher asked me before, if given the choice between the popular and the right decision, which one would you make, as a leader? as many like minded leaders or leaders to be felt, i also said, why cant they co exist? for a system to work, there is no such thing as allowing them to co exist. who likes a workaholic, slave driver boss? but if theres no workaholic or slave driver inside an organisation, how is it going to succeed? there is no success without hard work, but people are lazy by nature. work is lying there, waiting to be done. and its piling up by the day. if no one takes charge of it, its gonna blow up one day, and then when that day comes, the poor soul left behind will get a rude shock, and be forced to shoulder the blame for everything, like what is happening in some places.
first taste of working life. i dont like it. in fact, i detest it. the politics, the rat race. everything. as long as im self sufficient, and can live relatively comfortably, i would not want to go through all that. thats it with office work. it drives people crazy.
pretty pissed. peace out.

Mambo Mambo..is it an outing or a lifestyle?? hahass.. anw met qt a lot of people ytd..plus some frens whom i haven met for err 2 years plus??hahass anws it was qt funny, hearing this high pitched cute voice calling out ur name, but not seeing anybody at all..hahahsss..but since some time this year, i decided that it may not be such a good idea meeting old frens.somehow people who hafn met me for some time will comment on the same thing. for example, yesterday's convo went sth like this:
fren:jiayi!! jiayi jiayi!!! hiii!!
me:haha hi hi..long time no see.
fren: yup yup..my god, you look exactly the same la..
me:?? (i didn't go for plastic surgery, if thats what u r implying) haha yeahh...
fren: hmmm but u PUT ON WEIGHT.....
damn...
have to start slimming down. my plans have been postponed time and again, or stopped somewhere due to some reason..lol kk excuses excuses i noe..haha..
somehow people around me are falling in and out of love, or trying not to love..whatever it is..haha but somehow i hafn felt so inert for ages. this entire period of i dunno how long, it has been totally barren. and i must say im enjoying it..hahahss..sorry to all those poor souls out there who are being tied down..lol..
i was jus discussing with this female buddy about relationships. i was jus telling her i think im too damn demanding..
me:i think my standards too high la..thats why now still left on the shelf
fren:hmm reli meh? lemme try to intro u someone who fits into ur standards. what you want?
me: hmm i muz be attracted to her looks, and it must last..
fren:duh..
me:hmm our characters must be compatible, means muz be able to talk with me, and wont find me irritating..
fren: (a bit hard sia -_-) uh huh uh huh....
me:she mus be able to cook damn well, cuz i love to eat..hahahss..
fren:ok..that means im outta the list..
me:you were never inside..HAHAHHAHA..
fren: hmpf ok..carry on..
me: actually i think im rather attracted to those with spunk, got a bit of attitude and character one, and must love outdoors..
fren: ok... go on..
me: hmm and most imptly, she must not give me any unnecessary trouble =)
fren: SIAO!! IMPOSSIBLE!!
i didn't say that, a fellow female admitted it.
gals = trouble
haha but somehow it is that which makes us want them more..weird aint it..haizz.
im just talking rubbish..im tired
ciaosss..

I saw a disturbing sight again today. Last week, when I read the background of this guy, I thought to myself, oh no, another problematic fellow. Pick somebody in Singapore below the age of 20, and does not understand english.
Today, I saw his dad. He was not informed of what happened to his son, hence he came down to camp, asking what had happened. He was surprisingly understanding, and had no problems as long as he was assured of where his son was. He was trying hard to speak up for his son, and finally, hints of exasperation showed, gradually becoming more and more obvious.
What was more disturbing was the way the father appeared. Dressed in an old polo t shirt, bermudas and flip flops, he appeared looking dishevelled. His face, other than expressions of fatigue and worry, told another story as well. His right cheek was swollen, with a plaster pasted haphazardly across. The edges of his lips and teeth were red, with blood. As he pleaded with us to take care of his son in hokkien, he would raise a piece of cloth to his mouth to wipe away the blood every now and then. The originally fresh white cloth was already red and soggy with fresh blood. As he spoke, the blood kept flowing and flowing, non stop. It was not appalling sight. Rather, it was more of a disturbing sight.
I recalled reading something about oweing loan sharks money, and deep down inside i hope and prayed that it was not the case.
His father also worked at religious shrines as a "possessed figure". Basically, it involves one to do something to the effect of an indian kavadi, by letting a spirit possess your body hence you wont feel any pain. People involved in jobs like this may get whipped or have to poke things through their bodies.
The father told us that he did not contact us until now as he had been busy at work. His workplace was too far away frm his home, and he did not want to waste money on transport, hence he chose to sleep at his workplace, which was an electronics factory.
I looked at him. He was about my father's age. I would not allow my father to go through something like that. blood pouring out of his mouth every single sec, yet he still would not stop talking, pleading with us to give his son a chance. A father's love. I am not a saint. But I would be ashamed of myself if I ever had to let my dad go through something like this.